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My challenge as an artist in the fleeting moments of a life drawing sitting is to capture essence. My challenge as a mother is to see my daughter and help her grow into herself. My ever-watchful eye recorded Nicole's life from infancy through teenage years and into her own motherhood. Yet that watchful eye could also be an anxious and worrisome eye, in need of creative transformation. I did not want either Nicole or Paul to grow up in the shadow of my fear. As a painter, I drenched my children in color and sang out the joy of our connection--the strong color, like a strong heartbeat, ensures life force and vigor.

We are told that "time heals," yet I know that generations carry the loss of a child. As a family, none of us has let loss be the last word.

Nicole on my Knees - 1964
Nicole on my Knees
1964
Nicole Asleep in her Basket - 1964
Nicole Asleep in her Basket
1964
Nicole in Infant Seat - 1964
Nicole in Infant Seat
1964
Nicole & Jacques - 1964
Nicole & Jacques
1964
Nicole 3 years old - 1967
Nicole at Three
1967
Nicole and her cutout (5 years) - 1969
Nicole and her cutout
1969
Nicole's Puberty - 1976
Nicole's Puberty
1976
Nicole in Boots (15 Years) - 1979
Nicole in Boots
1979
Nicole & Beardsley (18 Years) - 1982
Nicole & Beardsley
1982
Nicole and her Shadow (19 Years) - 1983
Nicole and her Shadow
1983
La Grossesse de Nicole (20 Years) - 1984
La Grossesse de Nicole
1984
Pregnant Profile of Nicole (20 years) - 1984
Pregnant Profile of Nicole
1984
Shira Rose - 1985 copy
Shira on Nicole's Lap
1985
Mama Nicole - 1993
Mama Nicole
1993
Nicole (40 years) - 2005
Nicole at 40
2005